Dear Linda,
Calvary greetings to you. I hope you are doing well and you are happy with your decisions. Well, by the time you would be reading this letter, I would be gone. I would be out of touch, far away from the prison, where you locked me up. Even though it was really difficult, I have finally found a way out and would be out of this “Friend zone” as you read this.
I thought I was the special one until you told me that I was just like a brother to you. That was exactly why I got you that expensive standing mirror, so that you could stare at your beautiful self each and every morning and see how much I don’t look like your brother.
I tried telling you, I tried showing you how much I cared for you but you kept on giving others a chance, and then you always come back crying, seeking for my comfort. I thought we would be perfect together, because you are indeed a good wife material and I am the perfect fashion designer. I was planning to make a “Miuccia Prada” out of you, but you said I was too good for you and you were scared of losing me. Oh, what a lie! Well, I have packed my bags and have made up my mind. I am moving on and hoping to find another, who will take me seriously.
It would be completely impolite to end this letter without thanking you for our friendship, for the wonderful moment we had together and for wasting my time. I wish you all the best in life and hope never ever to see you again.
Adieu!
Your ex-prisoner,
Bob.